The Convi Vans

My two main activities these days (taking Spanish in the nearby town of Urubamba and teaching computer classes to kids in a nearby village, Pachar) both involve taking Combi vans from Ollanta to my destinations. Each ride is an adventure. It costs about $2.50 to get to Urubamba (20-30 minutes from here) and back. A nice deal, but you have to deal with the conditions.
Vignette #1: First day of Spanish classes
I think the driver was thirteen, and he loved the challenge of fitting as many people as possible into the van. These are rickety fifteen-passenger vans and usually there are at least twenty-three people in them. That day there were probably twenty-five or six. I sat with my knees on the outside of Renee's in the van, plus pressed against the knees of the dudes next to me. Knee bruises times four.
Vignette #2: The Chicken.
On the way home from Urubamba Renee and I were in the back seat with one other person. By the time the van took off, there were four of us in the backseat. The seating order went like this: Quechua man with campfire-smelling poncho on my left, behind my left shoulder; Quechua man with sheep-smelling poncho on my right, pinning my right shoulder down; Renee to the right of that man; chicken in a bag below our seat, periodically pecking Renee's ankle.
Vignette # 3: Future Women's Penitentiary Rugby Coach at age 12
This was the first time I LOL'ed since being in "Carefree Cusco" (just made that name up). Here's the scene: 8 year-old boy and hot 23-year old futbol coach/model talking in the backseat. Renee and me on the side-facing seat. Mom, dad, baby in seat in front of Renee, all eating popsicles and baby moaning/crying periodically. Eight schoolchildren somehow standing in the space next to the door, eating popsicles and using Renee as a chair/trashcan for slobber and melted snacks. The best part: The girl in the seat across from me was about twelve and was wearing a way too thick for the weather, red tracksuit. She had the build of a girl bully. She kept yelling at her little brother, who was probably eight and was super disgruntled, to come sit with her. He didn't want to because she wouldn't let him have the window seat. After she yelled at him for five excruciating minutes, he came to sit with her with a sourpuss look on his face. She was taking up 5/6 of the seat, so his feet were basically on mine. He tried to take a nap, but was probably having hateful dreams about his sister and had the worst look on his face I have ever seen for a sleeping person. That didn't last long though, because Giant Of a Sister lost something on the floor and proceeded to bend over and search on the floor for it, all the while edging her brother farther out of the seat, until she finally woke him up and made him look for the thing, while shouting orders at him. He found it, was then completely awake, and then the mammoth girl fell sound asleep with her pumpkin-sized head resting atop his delicate head/neck. He totally hated her. She probably tortures him by never letting him sleep at night, by telling him terrible stories about what happens to little boys who sleep/roaring like a lion whenever she notices him dozing off. She probably steals all of his food, too. He was so small. Renee and I decided that a)she's destined to be the rugby coach at a women's prison; and b) we are going to make a movie about this pair of siblings. When we pulled into Ollanta the little boy yelled "BAJABAJABAJABAJA!" at the top of his lungs until the driver stopped and let them off so they could go home and he could do all of his sister's chores.